Leaving Ramadhan with no regrets.

I hope this helps.

Susunan muka mungkin er, pelik sikit. Bahagian paling atas adalah cover, which wraps like a book cover. 3 bahagian lagi tu dilekat back-to-back. Hm, tak pandai explain. Boleh pm belakang kalau tak dapat. =D

Here we go again.

It's the time of the year, again.  Less than 20 days to go before my flight back home. Home.

This time I'm making sure that I at least have my list with me there. Make. That. Sure.

So again, I will not put high expectation for the holiday. However it'll turn out, no matter how differ it is from my plan, Allah knows the best.

Now, get the exam done!

Bismillah.

Hari 7

Hari ni masuk hari ke tujuh di malaysia. Tinggal lebih dua minggu saja lagi, tapi satu buku pun tak bukak lagi. Jadi, ini resolusi untuk 16 hari yang berbaki:

1. Habiskan buku yang dibaca

2. Sehari 2 jam untuk buku revision

3. Beli kain dan jahit tudung

4. Selesaikan amanah orang

5. Beli baju kiriman 

6. Bungkus barang sebelum packing

I'm back, again.

Assalamu'alaikum, people!

I don't know where to begin, or even what should I write.

For updating purpose, I had safely arrived in Malaysia on last Wednesday, had stayed for 2 days in Kajang and then took a train home to Penang on Friday. My uskab members had mostly flew back to their respective places, the old friends are done with raya and starting new semester and here I am, with my 2 years ago expired driving license and probably can't even drive anymore.

But, I'm already here. My almost 700 euros flight ticket should mean something, at least. I think I've thought of it before getting it, but now, the list must have got flushed during the 2 months between the purchase and now.


I know every word will be counted. Sometimes they comfort you, the other time they hurt you. I realise I've talked a lot and since about a year before, I wrote less. Nevertheless they are still words.
I want to apologize to everyone, whom I had hurt with my words.

Because I think I'm in an emotional state, I put this photo up.

4 days till it's Germany

I started this blog about 2 months ago because I expected a holiday with a lot of photos and fun. I was too excited that I forgot not to set high expectations. There has been laughters, tears, fun, disappointments as well as excitements and some other adjectives that I may just bored you with them.

I left my to-do list in Germany and decided to make a new one here. Honestly, as I set my feet at home, the list I've made was erased from my head as easy as one could imagine. I'm not sure whether to check my new list or not before flying back, but I'm pretty sure, I'm contented.

I've bought quite a lot of books, packed some of those I found in the old cupboard, sewn 4 dresses and 2 skirts, add a number of new blogs in my reading list, finished reading some books, picnicked, played some badminton, shopped some clothes (tudung, skirts etc), baked a german pie, went to kenduri(s?), and of course, stuffing myself.

To those whose feelings were/are hurt, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if what I've changed into or how stagnant I am in anyway irritates or hurt you. I'm not perfect, even in accepting advices; I'm sorry. By my apologize I mean it's fully my fault, my bad and no other person;  and I'm promise to work on it.





This is one of those moments when I feel like keeping everything to myself.


For this two months (or more) holiday; all praises to The One God.

1 Syawal

If fasting is a race, we should be excited reaching the end line, shouldn't we?

I guess I might have forgotten how exciting 'raya' was, like 10 or 12 years ago. My little cousins are no more little. Some of them got higher than me, some of them make me having to reach any nearest fabric for head cover.

No more white socks with netting and ribbons or flowers, no more 'handbag' to put keep my duit raya save.

Though the songs are pretty much the same, the air don't.

After only a year and a half, I didn't expect I would change this much. It feels like being swollen back into the crowd you once determined to get out of.


Selamat hari 'raya'.

Mak ayah

Ada orang raya ke-5 dah kene balik Jerman. Aku kira-kira tinggal lagi sebulan lagi untuk aku spend kat Malaysia, dah dekat 3 minggu skrang kat sini.

Keluar masih lagi cuma untuk teman mak hantar dan jemput adik ke sekolah, ke pasar dan bank. Cuma sekali keluar dengan kawan untuk iftar di restoran kira-kira 2 km dari rumah. Tapi alhamdulillah, beberapa target cuti summer dah boleh cross out.

Sebelum ni, boleh kata kebanyakan perjumpaan makan-makan, reunion dengan kawan-kawan, bila akhir hari terasa kosong balik. Yang terisi cuma waktu kawan-kawan di depan mata.

Aku x expect banyak untuk cuti ni, x expect banyak-banyak perjumpaan, konvoi segala bagai. Cukup setakat aku rasa dekat dengan keluarga, cukup setakat perjumpaan yang x seberapa tapi impak besar.

Dulu lepas habis SPM, masa jiwa remaja meninggi, aku pikir kawan segala-gala. Masa persediaan pun sama. Aku kira ada kawan hati tenang. Aku pikir masa ni, bukan lagi masa ibu bapa sentiasa betul, masa ni ibu bapa boleh jugak buat salah, dan kesalahan ibu bapa tu bergantung pada timbangan aku.

Aku x rasa jarak yang buat aku sedar, tapi kuasa dan pengetahuan Dia yang buat aku sedar.

Macam yang orang canang pasal cinta pada pasangan, pasal cinta bukan pada kelebihan tapi juga kekurangan; kadang-kadang kita lupa untuk apply untuk cinta pada ibu bapa.

Dari kita lahir sampai sekarang entah dah berapa banyak sekecil-kecil kesilapan sampai sebesar-besar kesilapan kita ibu bapa kita mampu buat macam 'hati nyamuk depan mata'. Tapi bila dah besar kita kata kita x mampu dah tolerate kesalahan diorang.

Bak kata sorang penulis ni, (lebih kurang la) kasih ibu bapa pada anak itu, sejak anak masih dalam perut lagi. Tak kira betapa kerap dan panjang kita post dan like status di Fb "saya sayang mak/ayah saya" dan entah apa lagi, tak mungkin boleh tanding kasih ibu bapa.

Memang ada ibu bapa yang sifat langsung x berupa ibu bapa, buang/dera anak segala bagai. Tapi bukan aku at least, dan aku sure yang baca jugak.

Aku x tulis ni saja-saja sebenarnya.

Bila aku tengok susuk mak aku skrang, aku perasan aku dah 21, dan mak aku pun sure sure la bukan makin muda. Dari yang aku tengok, berbeza dari dulu, mak ayah aku makin lama makin sensitif, makin mudah terasa, terlalu banyak yang diorang pendam.


Ok la, selamat mengejar baki Ramadhan!